Divorce Wisdom: Co-Parenting During a Crisis: How Divorced Parents Should Work Together to Keep Their Children Safe, in Light of COVID-19

If ever a time exists when you need to present a unified front with your ex for the sake of the safety of your children, the time is now. However, divorced couples are often not on the same page when it comes to parenting their children. Now, more than ever, is the time to flip that script. So, how can you and your ex work together to keep your kids safe?

Crisis Resolutions to Live By:

1. Remain “child-centric” at all times. Child-centric means putting your child’s needs above your own, at all times. If possible, get a firm commitment from the other parent to live by this rule. All decisions during this health crisis should be made from the perspective of what is best for your child.
2. Take care of yourself and encourage your ex to do the same. It is up to you to care for your children and your ability to do so means taking care of yourself, too. No matter how much animosity you have for your ex, you need to put your differences aside and make a safety plan for your family. The plan should include following the protocols and guidelines laid out by the CDC. These guidelines include such practices as washing your hands for at least 20 seconds throughout the day, before and after any meal, before and after using the restroom, after coming in contact with groups of people and when returning home after being out. Also, use hand sanitizer with at least a 60% alcohol content. Stay hydrated throughout the day. Optimal hydration can be defined as taking one’s weight, dividing that by 2 and drink that amount of water in ounces. It has also been recommended that taking large doses of Vitamins A, C and D at the first sign of cold or flu symptoms can help, but as always, be in contact with your doctor.
3. Keep your cool. Children may be frightened due to things they have heard and the fact that schools are closed and their friends are staying home. As such, it is imperative that you and your ex commit to supporting your child’s relationship with their other parent. Together try to keep your children from suffering additional anxiety by presenting a united front with a plan. If your feelings toward your ex make co-parenting difficult on a good day, live by the rule: “Fake It ‘Til You Make It”. This is a stressful time and your child needs his/her parents to be strong, so choose your battles wisely.
4. Share your children, protect your children. Now is the time to put your custody/parenting time agreement in a drawer and figure out who can best take care of your kids during this time. New rules apply during this time of crisis and it is imperative to always do what’s best for your child. Despite these troubling times, consider this a good opportunity for you to show your kids that you can work with your ex for their safety and wellbeing. This is something your children will never forget; I promise.